Will Durst Will Durst, 4/17/2009 [Archive]

Arrgh Diplomacy

Arrgh Diplomacy

Raging Moderate, by Will Durst

It's bad enough Obama has to juggle two wars while scrubbing the floor of the White House trying to clean up the domestic mess left by the previous tenant, but as soon as he looks out the door, what does he see-- pirates. That's right. Pirates. And no, I'm not talking left-handed relievers from Pittsburgh or a limo full of Bernie Madoff wannabes or some Hong Kong cartel peddling bootleg copies of the 'Watchmen' sequel. Actual bilge-sucking pirates. With guns and boats and rum and Davy Jones' Locker and everything. Wouldn't be surprised to find out they're brandishing scabbards and cutlasses in possession of a motley selection of wooden prosthetics as well. Shiver me timbers.

You all know the story. A U.S. ship, the Maersk Alabama, on its way from Djibouti to Mombassa, filled with relief supplies, is attacked by two boatloads of scallywags. That's right. These guys tried to hijack a boat full of relief supplies. They're not just pirates, they're BAD pirates. The U.S. Navy surrounds them, and they try calling other pirates for help, but of course no one comes, because, me hearties, THEY'RE PIRATES. And then they got out-sea dogged by a group of landlubbing Navy SEALs. And there was a happy ending. Especially for the rescued captain. Less so for the pirates. They were ship out of luck.

These sea bandits have terrorized the waters around the Horn of Africa since the beginning of Somalia's civil war back in the '90s, boarding ships and holding them for ransom. Last year, it is estimated they were able to leverage over $100 million in ransom, which ain't bad booty. A lot of doubloons. Pieces of eight o'plenty. Abdullah Lami, a pirate currently holding a Greek ship hostage, vowed revenge. 'We will retaliate for the killings of our men.' Dude. Avast. You are a pirate. This is not new news. Retaliation is in ye job description. As is pillaging and keelhauling and walking the plank. Thems that dies is the lucky ones.

Hillary Clinton threatened to hang 'em all from the yardarm, but a pirate doesn't fear tough talk, only a bigger, badder pirate. Now Obama may look good with his shirt off; the question is, how does he look in a ruffled shirt? And hoop earrings? I think he should stop shaving and convince his staff to refer to him as Blackbeard. Even if the whiskers come in gray, it still works on a couple of levels. Then we buy the secretary of State a bird to perch on her shoulder. And encourage Joe Biden to appear in public wearing an eye patch. That could even be the real reason behind this week's Executive Caribbean visit. We're going to Pirate School. 'Buckle your swash in six easy lessons.' Where are our buccaneers? Under our bucking hat.

This was the first time a president was forced to act against piracy on the high seas since Jefferson sent the Marines to the shores of Tripoli. Hence the song. The halls of Montezuma had something to do with tequila, I think. Or an epidemic of bad burritos. 21st century pirates. What's next: scurvy? Who knew that piracy was a legitimate career track? Besides banking CEOs, I mean. Can't wait for the Vikings and Visigoths to make a comeback. Oh, that's right, they have, only now they call themselves Teabaggers. Talk about arrgh.

Will Durst is a San Francisco based political comic who writes sometimes. This is one of them.

Copyright© 2009, Will Durst, distributed by the Cagle Cartoons Inc. syndicate. Call Sales at (805) 969-2829 or e-mail sales@cagle.com. Will Durst is a political comedian who has performed around the world. He is a familiar pundit on television and radio. E-mail Will at durst@caglecartoons.com. Check out willandwillie.com for the latest podcast. Will Durst's book, 'The All American Sport of Bipartisan Bashing,' is available now from Amazon and better bookstores all over this great land of ours. Don't forget to check out his rooftop comedy minutes at: http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/shows/BurstOfDurst.

Download Will Durst's color photo - Download Will Durst's black and white mug shot photo
Why not run a cartoon with the column? We recommend the cartoons below as a good compliment to Will Durst's topic.
Click on the thumbnail images to preview and download the cartoons.

Related Cartoons

SOMALI PIRATES
By: Patrick Chappatte

November 19, 2008

Modern-Day Pirates
By: Nate Beeler

April 10, 2009

Modern-Day Pirates COLOR
By: Nate Beeler

April 10, 2009

Navy Seal of Disapproval
By: Mike Keefe
The Denver Post
April 16, 2009

Wall Street pirate COLOR
By: John Cole

April 15, 2009

Wall Street pirate BW
By: John Cole

April 15, 2009

Navy SEALS
By: Bob Englehart

April 16, 2009

Navy SEALS COLOR
By: Bob Englehart

April 16, 2009

Somalian secretary
By: Olle Johansson

April 17, 2009

Pirates
By: Cameron Cardow
The Ottawa Citizen
April 16, 2009

Somali piracy problem
By: Paresh Nath

April 16, 2009

piracy of africa
By: Emad Hajjaj

April 14, 2009
   

We do not accept and will not review unsolicited submissions from cartoonists.
Sales & Information: (805) 969-2829 sales@cagle.com
Billing Information: (805) 969-2829billing@cagle.com
Technical Support: support@cagle.com

FREE cartoons for your website if you're already a paying print subscriber!
Artwork and columns are copyrighted by each creator. All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized reproduction prohibited. [Privacy Policy]