Rick Jensen, 4/16/2015 [Archive]

Hillary Already Stimulating the Economy

By Rick Jensen

It's amazing how Hillary Clinton can stimulate the U.S. economy simply by announcing her candidacy for president.

Dozens of anti-Hillary bumper stickers are already being sold online. "Save the Nation. Stop Hillary," "Monica Lewinski's ex-Boyfriend's Wife for President," "Ready for Hillary to Explain Benghazi," "What Did Americans Do to Deserve Hillary?", "I Wish I Was Broke Like Hillary" and more are just a slick away, thanks to the magical world of Google.

You create any of these bumper stickers at 200 for $1,000 and sell them for $10.00 each for a 100 percent profit.If ten percent of registered Republican and Libertarian voters each buy one bumper sticker, that's a sweet little$21 million boost to the economy.If 10 percent of registered Democratic Party voters choose to be outspokenly anti-war, anti-Wall Street and anti-corruption there's another potential 6.8 million anti-Hillary t-shirts.

Total: $60,000,000.

Ka-Ching!

The online U.S. t-shirt business brought in $262 million last year, according to IBISWorld research.

You can buy t-shirts with single color printing for as low as $3.99 per shirt.So a nice pink "Ready for Hillary 2B Indicted" or "Hillary! What Difference Does It Make?" in ruby red selling for a modest $16.00 could generate a nice profit margin of 400 percent, less shipping cost.

More important, ten percent of Republicans, Libertarians and Democrats concerned Hillary's poorly-controlled anger would result in nukes flying in all directions could easily generate another stimulating $128 million!

Better yet, we'd see a lot of small mom-and-pop bumper sticker and t-shirt businesses filling their eBay accounts.

PACS and Tea Party organizations that haven't been illegally refused their tax-exempt status will bring in millions more than had Lincoln Chaffee just announced.

There could be millions more in "dark money" given by foreigners, especially misogynistic Islamic leaders who want to solidify their relationships with "Hillary-the-Fighter-for-Women" while they stone women to death for a "Lewinsky."

They've already made their down payments into Bill and Hillary's non-profit foundation.

If you think Hillary would never, never, never, ever, ever, ever be associated with any illegal fundraising, a new, dark world awaits you by googling "Clinton convicts" and "Norman Hsu."

The happy news is that this will bring millions of dollars to sleazy campaign operatives who will spend thousands of dollars at upscale restaurants, which will fund cooks, hostesses and servers.Let's hope they tip well.

This will also bring millions of dollars into battleground states for propaganda campaign materials on radio, cable and broadcast television, door knobs and in emails and mailboxes.

Then, the ensuing counter-propaganda campaign, the counter-counter propaganda campaign, the last counter-counter-counter propaganda campaign and then, finally, the counter-counter-counter—counter propaganda campaign AFTER THE LAST counter-counter-counter-counter propaganda campaign.

The death toll will be thousands of trees and all of the truth.

Still, Hillary's announcement will be responsible for hundreds of millions of dollars that would have otherwise gone to waste on clothing, cars, new business assets or some luxury like a week at the beach resort had last week's announcement been the yawn-inducing Jim Webb or Martin O'Malley.

(If you're heading to the web to look up their names, thank you for proving my point.)

Hillary Clinton's announcement is like a computer virus that inspires hundreds of code-writers to create anti-virus software programs for the open market.

This should also inspire all of the newspaper "fact-checkers."Instead of sending a reporter from D.C. all the way to Wisconsin to find out if Governor Scott Walker really did buy a shirt for one dollar and some mystical icon called, "Kohl's Cash," they'll make a fine living just researching her everyday comments.

Yay, clickbait!

Should she actually be elected, we can count on a continued dragging economy while she pushes for more government programs and regulations based on the desires of her beloved hedge fund and big government campaign contributors, not unlike the billions handed to bespoke-suited bundling hucksters at dozens of "green scheme" scams like Solyndra and Fisker.

Of course, this "presumed outcome" may be abated should the national media stop chasing Hillary like panting 13 year-old girls who just spotted Justin Bieber, and get to the business of actually committing journalism.

——-

©Copyright 2015 Rick Jensen, distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.

Rick Jensen is Delaware's award-winning conservative talk show host on 1150AM WDEL and 93.7FM HD3, Streaming live on WDEL.com from 1pm — 4pm EST. Contact Rick at rick@wdel.com, or follow him on Twitter @Jensen1150WDEL.

This column has been edited by the author. Representations of fact and opinions are solely those of the author.

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