Will Durst Will Durst, 10/21/2007 [Archive]

Al Gore and the Blue Sky Theory

Al Gore and the Blue Sky Theory

Raging Moderate, by Will Durst

So Al Gore got the Nobel Peace Prize for his incessant blabbing about 'global warming.' Big deal. The committee that hands those things out is the motliest collection of Norwegian Marxists you ever did see. Previous peace prize nominees have included Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Benito Mussolini, Satan, Michael Moore and Mother Teresa. But the worst part is the encouragement this Scandinavian Cracker Jack prize has given the former crime confederate of Hillary Clinton's husband to proselytize other harebrained speculations.

Now the Global Gloomy Gus is going around trying to convince people the sky is blue. He doesn't call it an opinion. He neglects to cite scientific evidence linking other colors to the sky. Nope. The sky is blue. Because Al Gore says so. And we're supposed to take his word for it and shut the hell up. I don't think its any big secret why Tipper's old man wants the sky to be blue. Certainly can't have the sky being red, now can we, like Florida turned in 2000?

Exactly where does this guy get off? Who voted him mister science expert of the world guy? He's a failed politician who blew his last race and apparently can't get over being deprived of the limelight. What does he know about skies? Googled his bio: not surprisingly, there were no degrees in 'Sky.' Although, to be fair, there were no degrees in 'Manure Spreader' either and I have to admit, he's one of the best.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the sky often full of CLOUDS? When he looks up, does he see blue clouds too? Makes sense when you consider all the hallucinogenics he must have swallowed at Harvard with his East Coast Ivy League, little-light-in-their-loafer buddies. All of whom, I'm sure, still see green pigs and polka dot trees under those liberal blue skies of theirs.

To hear the way Gore and his cabal of elite environmental extremists tell it, you'd think general scientific consensus has signed off on the whole 'sky is blue' hypothesis, but they'd be dead wrong. What they don't want you to know is several highly respected Texas-based scientists who haven't drunk from Gore's pitcher of socialist Kool-Aid vehemently dispute this contention, calling the theory just that: the 'blue sky THEORY.' According to them, there's not enough evidence either way. Jury is still out.

So what if, on occasion, the sky is bluish; who's to say that it isn't turning back to its original color of green or magenta or cerulean real soon? Has Hollywood's favorite mascot ever thought of that? Or is he too busy trying to divert billions of dollars to his good friend Osama bin Laden and the Islamo-Fascists by scuttling important domestic oil research trotting out his lame and spurious 'blue sky' campaign?

By ramming these irrational beliefs down the throats of ordinary people, Al Gore and his Goth band of America-hater, revel in their disdain for the hard-working men and women of this country, while at the same time flagrantly endanger the safety of our brave freedom fighting troops in Iraq.I imagine the next piece of junk science propaganda nonsense this world-class snake oil salesman will try peddling to a gullible public is that water is wet or war is bad. God help us all.

Former agricultural distributor Will Durst spent a lot of time sitting under polka dot trees.

Copyright© 2007 Will Durst, distributed by the Cagle Cartoons Inc. syndicate. Call Sales at (805) 969-2829 or e-mail sales@cagle.com. Will Durst is a political comedian who has performed around the world. He is a familiar pundit on television and radio. E-mail Will at durst@caglecartoons.com.

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