Jase Graves
Each year the weekend after Thanksgiving, I sense an innate urge to risk life, limb and public humiliation by festooning the exterior of our home with several hundred C9 incandescent lights...
Yes, it’s that glorious season that so many pumpkin-spice addicts claim to be their favorite...
According to my extensive research (approximately five minutes on Google when I should have been folding underwear), the Chinese zodiac system assigns an animal symbol to each year...
If you read my last two columns, you know that I’m now milking this one-trick pony for all it’s worth – including some mixed metaphors. This time, I’ll share a few things I’m actually glad I did – for now...
In my last column, I admitted to some things I’ve never done in my 50-something-year-old-dude-type-person life. So, of course, that discussion brought to mind a few things I’ve actually accomplished – or committed – and deeply regret...
A few days ago, my wife and I were taking our evening almost-senior-citizen power stroll, and the subject of Hooters came up. And I’ll tell you why (even if you wish I wouldn’t). (Pretend you didn’t read those last two words together...
Recently, my wife and I accomplished a task almost as daunting as giving our cat a pill or teaching our youngest daughter to drive without committing widespread curb trauma...
These days, getting all three of my semi-grown daughters together for a family activity is like herding cats who have cars, jobs at coffee shops and their own debit cards.. or sort of hopped...
It’s August in Texas, which, at the best of times, is like living inside the molten contents of one of those fried mozzarella sticks that I always steal from my youngest daughter’s order at the Sonic Drive In...
Recently, I took a break from my grueling summer staycation for a business trip to exotic Amarillo, Texas...
Dear Generac standby home generator, I want to apologize for calling down multiple elaborate curses upon you for being so expensive as you sat loitering beside the house almost completely idle for the three years since I financed you – despite the..
Full Archive
- 11/28/2023 Neighbors, start your Christmas lights!
- 11/14/2023 Why do we fall for fall?
- 10/31/2023 The year of the possum
- 10/17/2023 Things I’m glad I did
- 10/03/2023 Things I’ve done – and wish I hadn’t
- 09/19/2023 Things I’ve never done
- 09/05/2023 Dad’s lumbar moving company
- 08/22/2023 Hop on down to San Antone
- 08/08/2023 Live your best heat-dome life
- 07/25/2023 A summer staycation travel guide
- 07/11/2023 Amarillo by suppertime
- 06/27/2023 A love letter to my generator
- 06/13/2023 My rock still tries to roll
- 05/30/2023 Big box blues
- 05/16/2023 How to ‘un-dorm’ a college student
- 05/02/2023 Prom seasonal allergies
- 04/18/2023 Hospice care for cars
- 04/04/2023 Urgent calls from college
- 03/20/2023 Spring broke
- 03/07/2023 To drive or not to drive
- 02/21/2023 My baby is 240 months old
- 02/07/2023 I’ve been blinged
- 01/24/2023 Hot for hot chocolate
- 01/10/2023 Escape from New York and Southwest Airlines
- 12/27/2022 ‘Let’s take a trip for the holidays,’ they said
- 12/12/2022 Christmas lights: A judgmental guide
- 11/29/2022 Invasion of the college students
- 11/15/2022 Get out of bed and breakfast
- 11/01/2022 Nearly nailed it! (Asian food edition)
- 10/17/2022 What’s in my name?
- 10/04/2022 The pen is sillier than the sword
- 09/20/2022 Dogs vs. daughters
- 09/05/2022 New school clothes for dad
- 08/22/2022 And then there was one teenage daughter left at home
- 08/09/2022 If you can’t beat the heat, join it
- 07/25/2022 One night in The Big Easy-as pie
- 07/12/2022 Portrait of a colonoscopy
- 06/28/2022 Snacks, steel and civil rights in the Magic City
- 06/13/2022 Stranger things in my daughter’s bedroom
- 06/01/2022 Now is the summer of my discontent
- 05/17/2022 No, it’s not COVID
- 05/03/2022 Eat your just desserts
- 04/19/2022 Happy birthday cake to me
- 04/04/2022 Can you do the splits?
- 03/22/2022 It’s time to mourn the mornings
- 03/08/2022 Take the plunge into household plumbing
- 02/21/2022 Put on your church genes
- 02/08/2022 Have you seen my wallet?
- 01/25/2022 The dog days of our lives
- 01/11/2022 A lifetime case of the girl crazies
- 12/28/2021 2021 Was the Year of the Jab
- 12/14/2021 Are You Too Old For Santa Claus?
- 11/30/2021 O Christmas Tree Shortage
- 11/16/2021 When Thanksgiving and Christmas Collide
- 11/02/2021 Is There Detention in Sunday School?
- 10/18/2021 Make Halloween Great Again
- 10/05/2021 School Project Management
- 09/21/2021 College Football Fan Follies
- 09/07/2021 Moving Heaven, Earth, and a Daughter to College
- 08/24/2021 Advice for College Freshpersons
- 08/10/2021 Take a Hike. Save a Tick.
- 07/27/2021 Who Says There’s No Crying in Baseball?
- 07/13/2021 Keep Austin’s Doughnuts Weird
- 06/29/2021 Kayaking For Couples, a Tragicomedy
- 06/15/2021 Everything’s Wetter in Texas
- 06/03/2021 Teach a Man to Fish, or Not
- 05/18/2021 To My Graduating Senior, Who Made Me a Senior
- 05/04/2021 Do the Charleston… If You Have the Grits
- 04/20/2021 Claim the Right to Dust Off Your Gun
- 04/06/2021 Defending the Karens
- 03/23/2021 Resurrecting Easter
- 03/09/2021 When Texas Froze Over
- 02/09/2021 Climate Change or Wacky Winter Weather?
- 01/26/2021 Get Your Mind Off Politics
- 01/12/2021 New Year’s Retribution
- 12/29/2020 2020: A Reluctant Retrospect
- 12/15/2020 All I Want for Christmas is the New Vaccine!
- 12/01/2020 A Christmas (Cell Phone) Miracle
- 11/17/2020 Go Long for Thanksgiving
- 11/01/2020 Elect to Talk Politics With the Family
- 10/20/2020 There She Is, Miss ‘Merica… and Her Dad
- 10/06/2020 A Blowout Blow-By-Blow
- 09/22/2020 Walk Away From COVID-19
- 09/08/2020 Back to School… Sort Of
- 08/25/2020 Escape With a Movie… Again
- 08/11/2020 Bed, Bath and Beyond My Scope
- 07/28/2020 Riding In SUVs With Girls
- 07/14/2020 To All The Masks I’ve Worn Before
- 06/30/2020 Take The Work Out Of Your Workout
- 06/15/2020 Saving The American Shopping Mall
- 06/01/2020 Are You Tired Of The ‘New Normal’?
- 05/19/2020 Learning To Live With Corona Hair
- 05/04/2020 Cooking My Way Through Quarantine
- 04/21/2020 Homeschooling in the Time of COVID-19
- 04/07/2020 Survive the Supermarket with Social Distancing
- 03/23/2020 Spend Quality Time in Self-Quarantine
- 03/10/2020 Stage a Midlife Crisis Intervention
- 02/25/2020 Swimsuit Shopping: A Cautionary Tale
- 02/11/2020 When Did Your Rock Last Roll?
- 01/28/2020 Star Wars: The Memories Awaken
- 01/14/2020 Take an Uncertain Road Trip
- 12/31/2019 Beating the After-Christmas Blues
- 12/16/2019 Another Christmas Card Letter
- 12/03/2019 Deck the Halls and Hit the Deck
- 11/19/2019 Foiled by Fall Foliage
- 11/05/2019 College Football Fever… With Nausea
- 10/22/2019 Weaned on Halloween
- 10/07/2019 Making a Garage Saler
- 08/27/2019 Sun, Sand, Seafood… and Pig Puppets
- 08/13/2019 I Left My Credit in San Antonio
- 07/30/2019 A Serious Case of the Boyfriends
- 07/16/2019 Family Fun Night Goals
- 07/01/2019 Beaching with Teens… And Other Hazards
- 06/19/2019 Baby You Can Drive My Car… Or My Tank
- 06/04/2019 Don’t Feed the Pool Party Animals
- 05/22/2019 An Indoorsman’s Guide to Yard Work
- 05/07/2019 Escape to Galvatraz
- 02/27/2019 A Tale of Tunes, a Ticket, and Traffic Law
- 02/12/2019 Curl Up and Diet
- 01/30/2019 Once Upon a Display Mattress
- 01/17/2019 Breaking News… and Wind
- 12/31/2018 The Year in Askew
- 12/19/2018 Have Yourself a Merry Little… Hedgehog
- 12/04/2018 Pierced Fears: Adventures in Body Modification
- 11/18/2018 In Defense of Thanksgiving
- 11/08/2018 Class Reunions: Tripping Down Memory Lane
- 10/23/2018 Watch for Falling Fall Fests
- 10/08/2018 A Tribute to Teachers
- 09/25/2018 Friday Night Lite: Adventures in Accidental Fandom
- 09/11/2018 Wild-ish Kingdom: Inept Interactions with Backyard Wildlife
- 08/28/2018 A Victim’s Guide to Swimming Pool Ownership
- 08/14/2018 I Feel the Need, the Need for A/C
- 07/31/2018 Dolphins and Fireworks and Toto – Oh My!
- 07/16/2018 Silly Chili, ‘Graet’ Ice Cream and a Wobble in the Queen City
- 07/02/2018 America’s Netflixation
- 06/14/2018 A Father’s Guide to the Land of Millstones and Honey Do’s
- 06/05/2018 Dance Like Your Dad’s Not Watching
- 05/22/2018 Lost in the Amazon, the Retailer We Hate to Love
- 05/07/2018 Defenseless Driving
- 04/23/2018 You’re Not Just Another Pretty Facebook
Jase Graves is an award-winning humor columnist from East Texas. His columns have been featured in Texas Escapes magazine, The Shreveport Times, The Longview News Journal, and The Kilgore News Herald. He is also a frequent contributor to The Erma Bombeck Writer's Workshop, which named him Writer of the Month for June of 2017, and he has served as a judge in the Erma Bombeck/Anna Lefler Humorist in Residence program.
The National Society of Newspaper Columnists says, "Whether he's breaking down the common types of yard sale denizens ('The Lingerer . . .she was here so long, I'll probably be able to claim her on my next tax return') or sharing cautionary tales of mattress shopping, Jason flays suburban life with a sharp wit. Shopping for his daughter's swimsuits, he wonders if he has 'strayed into the first aid section and . . .was looking at a new line of colorful ACE bandages.'"
Other than writing, his hobbies include berating the television when the Texas A&M Aggie football team is playing and sleeping as late as possible.
Column Archive
- 11/28/2023 Neighbors, start your Christmas lights!
- 11/14/2023 Why do we fall for fall?
- 10/31/2023 The year of the possum
- 10/17/2023 Things I’m glad I did
- 10/03/2023 Things I’ve done – and wish I hadn’t
- 09/19/2023 Things I’ve never done
- 09/05/2023 Dad’s lumbar moving company
- 08/22/2023 Hop on down to San Antone
- 08/08/2023 Live your best heat-dome life
- 07/25/2023 A summer staycation travel guide
- 07/11/2023 Amarillo by suppertime
- 06/27/2023 A love letter to my generator
- 06/13/2023 My rock still tries to roll
- 05/30/2023 Big box blues
- 05/16/2023 How to ‘un-dorm’ a college student
- 05/02/2023 Prom seasonal allergies
- 04/18/2023 Hospice care for cars
- 04/04/2023 Urgent calls from college
- 03/20/2023 Spring broke
- 03/07/2023 To drive or not to drive